Grimmleigh's Lab

Disability and the Art of Hobby Maintenance

After several years of processing and waiting, the United States Government has decided to agree with a panel of doctors and medical professionals, and has declared that I have indeed been attacked by several traitorous organs and am not capable of sustainable, “meaningful employment”.

In other words, I am disabled.

This is an interesting thing to be in the United States right now. We are largely governed by venture capital bros who believe in meritocracy above and beyond anything else, which is funny, because if we stripped away the wealthy parents and upper class background, they would just be more mediocre incels complaining about how they can’t get ahead. Meritocracy is pretty easy to excel at when you’ve been handed everything your entire life.

Or, in other words, pulling yourself up by your boot-straps isn’t hard when you have people that will buy the boots for you, and pull them on your dainty little feet when you feel like cosplaying as a human being for a few minutes.

The meritocracy crowd doesn’t look too keenly on disability. The feeling is that if you are disabled, that you are a drain on society, even though I have likely paid more in taxes in my lifetime of work than any of them have as part of the inheritor class. I have also been working full time, often with a second job, since 1984.

That’s 42 years. And somehow, I’m struggling internally with being entitled to benefits that I have been paying in to my entire damned life.

So, what does that have to do with hobbying? At the end of the day, everything.

I have about three, sometimes four, good hours of energy every day. Hence, the not being able to sustain a profession bit. Of that three to four hours, I have to exercise for at least 30 minutes, if not an hour, or the vein feeding my liver could collapse and kill me, since my abdomen is so jacked up after five surgeries that there’s no way to fix that vein without potentially killing me.

Defusing the bomb is as dangerous as the bomb.

Doing my hobby helps me turn off the gibbering horde that takes up residence in my psyche, the Doomsday Chorus that likes to remind me that every day is potentially borrowed time. That’s fine, though. I’ve had a remarkably cool life and have very few regrets.

That doesn’t stop the Gibbering Horde, though. Painting, on the other hand, does. So… I paint. Literally, I paint, therefore I am.

I am calmer, I am more at peace with this stage of my life, and I am able to focus on adoring my wife and rejoicing in my time on this (currently burning) rock as it careens about the universe.

There is a lot to be said about hobbies and mental health. And there is a lot to be said about stilling those voices that influence us and steer us away from our better selves. This has led me to deleting my social media accounts, stepping away from the podcast I have been part of for 18 years, and fine-tuning my YouTube content to exclusively hobby based channels.

It’s been liberating. And because of that liberation, those few hours of energy that I have became more restorative. Every brush stroke or assembled figure is a hard-won symbol of serenity for me. A sign that I am weathering my own personal storm, and maybe can show the way for others struggling as well.

The hobby, as it is, can be maddening. There’s a million people out there screaming about “the meta”, and debating the merits of this list, that model, the new game system that’s potentially going to pull a David on the Goliath in Manchester. It doesn’t have to be this way.

We can find peace in our wargames, as ironic as it feels to say that.

I hope you all find some time to rejoice in our hobby today, to escape our grim reality and fire off some joyous endorphins with whatever worlds bring you happiness. It’s an amazing hobby, full of amazing people.

Thanks for stopping by. Be good to yourselves, and happy hobbying!

Fantasy Art, Mordheim, skirmish games

Mordheim: The Song of Wretched Flanders

Flanders was, as the saying goes, gifted with the wits of a rock. That may have been from the stray stone that glanced off of his forehead as a small child, or it could have been from ingesting a steady diet of rats since being separated from his family at a young age.

Fear not, gentle reader. Rats are, of course, generally good for eating, as long as one knows which are healthy, and which carry plague and other foul humors of the blood. Flanders, being rather dim, did not discern between rats that were good eating or those that were best left to molder in the gutters. He was a hungry lad, and ate whatever he came across.

Which made him rather big, surprisingly. He was lanky, muscular in a sinewy way, and rather fond of crashing about the slums of the city. While dreadfully dim, he was possessed of a enthusiasm for living, and sang loudly of all the things he loved whilst he cantered about.

He was also easy to hire for odd jobs, and many a merchant found he would work tirelessly at any labor for the promise of gruel and a dry palette to sleep upon. Some found he worked even harder for heartier fare, and would pull a wagon better than a small team of oxen if fed well.

Flanders life changed during one such job, pulling a sledge through a neighborhood affectionately dubbed “Rottersville”. This area had suffered a withering blight, and the survivors shuffled about in the alleys and sewers, flesh hanging gray from their bones.

Even the rats avoided Rottersville, but it was the fastest way from the Merchant district to the temple. Flanders was attacked by nearly a dozen of the shambling denizens, who had succeeded in pulling him to the ground when one of them started eating his arm. Then the others, smelling the aroma of fresh meat, set to it.

Flanders screamed. He screamed and screamed. He screamed until his lungs burned and his eyes stung with tears.

And then, the Angel came. Mighty arms clad in mail swung a hammer with righteous enthusiasm, each blow ringing out like a thunderbolt from the heavens.

The rotters either fled, or met their violent end.

The Angel stood over Flanders, then called to his fellows, a rag-tag group of priests, hunters, and penitents.

“Tend to this Wretch’s wounds, feed him, and when he is able, bring him to me.”

Thus did Flanders find that he was Wretched, and his heart was filled with light and joy.

Wretched Flanders is an interesting kitbash project, which came partially out of desperation. The Flagellant from the classic GW Empire line is great, especially if you’re using them with other classic GW minis. But if you put one next to a newer model, they’re REALLY short. With a good portion of my Witch Hunters warband being made up of newer models, I needed a Flagellant that looked formidable and perhaps a little scary.

I took some bits from the classic kit, like the brazier clad head, weapons, and whatever the hell that book thingy is, and added them to a stock Kruleboy Orc body. Those guys are really stringy and muscular, and using them for a human really makes them look like they’ve been to hell and back.

The final product does the job nicely, I think! I also decided it would be fun to actually draw out his character card, which is something I loved doing in the ’80s with my D&D characters. We’ll see if that’s something I keep doing as the warband fills out!

Marvel Crisis Protocol

Marvel Crisis Protocol Project, Part One

A friend reached out and asked if I could take on his MCP project, and being as how I can’t really do much at the moment, I was happy to get to work! Plus, working on someone ELSE’s project means I’m not buying and storing the minis later, right?

There’s some that I’ve done before, like Beta Ray Bill and Ulik, but a number I’ve never set brush to before, so there was some refreshingly new minis to paint!

I tried some new stuff with Ulik and Bill, mostly with the electricity effects from Stormbreaker. Ulik’s scalemail got a little extra shine, since I wanted to try out the new Ultra-metallics from Vallejo, which are super tasty.

This particular Black Panther and I had never met before, and I realized I hadn’t painted an actual water effect in a decade or more, so that was a fun challenge! This was also my first time taking on Dracula, and I had a blast with him. Great figure all around!

I also got to paint another Abomination, which is one of my favorite minis in the line. He’s just chunky as hell, and you can dig in and slap a lot of paint and undertones onto him.

There’s more coming, so stay tuned!

Miniatures, skirmish games

That’s MISTER Lord of Infection to You!

Womp. My pancreas says hello, and it’s terribly sorry for kicking my ass for the last little bit. I keep telling it that you all understand, but my pancreas is surprisingly compassionate about you folks missing out on content, so there is that!

In between flare-ups I’ve managed to get some painting in, and I’m actually feeling okay at the moment, so fingers crossed. I had a friend ask me to play a little Age of Sigmar, which I tried and actually almost enjoyed, it was my vampires vs. his awful, smelly, tricksy elves.

There are some really fun and thematic actions baked into the game, but they usually come in the form of a re-roll, and there’s just so freaking many of them. Once again, GW‘s penchant for over-complicating a ruleset gets in the way of what could be a rocking good time. Still, my friend was awesome to play a game with, and that’s what matters in the end.

I even had the urge to paint up a little Warhammer, this demon lord from the Darkwater box has been calling to me for months, and he was a blast to paint!

That got me thinking, though. Mass fantasy battles used to be catnip to me. The Old World rules look to be pretty close to classic Warhammer Fantasy, but honestly that’s way to many rules for me. I want something fun, loud, and easy to table, but still elegant enough to get a little crunch going if I want it.

One Page Rules is cool, it’s just not crunchy enough for me. Close, though. I think Oathmark holds some promise, I just have to get enough minis together to give it a test game. Kings of War and I never really got along.

And there’s the fact that at the end of the day, I’m a hobbyist, not a gamer. That’s going to impact what I enjoy more than anything. Still, I like to build something to a list, just so that I can say there’s a theme or method to the madness, hahaha!

I started printing some Forest Elves from Highlands Miniatures, and if I use Warhammer rules as a template, there’s about 1,700 points worth waiting for a paintbrush. The minis look cool, and I’m not really pushing myself to do more than have fun at the moment, so looking at them isn’t making me want to scream and hide.

What do you all think about mass-battle fantasy games? Any of you find a system that you love? Or are you all tourists in the gaming world like me? It seems like most of the folks reading this are more into hobby building and painting than gaming, but I would love to hear what you enjoy building and (even ocassionally) playing!

Miniatures, skirmish games

Warcrow: Battle Scarred Orcs

I have been slowly, oh-so-slowly building out and painting my Warcrow collection. Luckily, some of the earlier issues I had with Corvus Belli using Siocast to manufacture the minis have been resolved, as it appears they are using Unicool for the majority of the new minis I have seen.

Still, the Siocast is out there, and I have been working my way through my Orc units to get them out of the way before I reward myself with the Unicool sets! Even with Siocast, these early minis are really incredible, they just take some extra care and cleanup to help them shine.

This is the first unit I have finished for Warcrow, so I’m giving myself a pat on the back and a cookie. Yay, me! Now, to paint the rest of my Northern Tribes army. Which is cool, because that means I get to paint Ice Elves!

The Battle Scarred Orcs are warriors who have a place of honor in Orc culture due to the number of scars they’ve earned, but they’re still young enough that they haven’t become Revenants.

I started with a purple and blue undercoat, then layered up with the greens and bone colors. I really do need to play this game sooner than later, the mechanics seem like a lot of fun!

Miniatures, skirmish games

Zombies! Aaaaah!

My editor window is showing that somehow a Comic Sans derivative is being used in my carefully curated layout, which is probably karmic punishment for falling off the planet for two months. Hopefully, that’s just a bug, because I know how people feel about Comic Sans.

I’ve been working on some chaff to fill out some encounters for Five Leagues from the Borderlands, which has become my preferred way to game lately. I have energy issues due to the organ disease, so sometimes the only way I’m getting any games in is on my own. Besides, I’m pretty good company for me. It’s not a bad thing!

Say what you will about Games Workshop, they make a nice zombie. Perhaps a little overdetailed, but they ooze character. The plan is to hit these guys with a blue underspray, red overspray, then highlight everything with a lemon yellow drybrush pass. This helps me see the details a little better, and is far more forgiving for my painting style!

Then it’s just a matter of picking out some areas that I want to add color to. With these two, I went a little more overboard than I planned, but I’m hoping to dial it back a little and let the undercoats do some of the heavy lifting for me!

Next week I’ll be sharing some Marvel work as I move that collection out!

Marvel Crisis Protocol, Miniatures, skirmish games

The Wake-Up Call

As some of you may know, I have been grappling with a rogue pancreas since the end of 2023. The pancreas is a bit of a diva, and when it feels like it’s being mistreated, all hell breaks loose.

Four major abdominal surgeries and tens of thousands of dollars in out of pocket expenses later, I’m, a not in the best shape. The body is still strong, but that pancreas has it out for me. And that’s okay. It’s part of me, and I forgive it for behaving the way it has. But, as time goes on, I am becoming more and more aware that a peaceful descent into old age is probably not in the cards for me.

And that’s okay. We all do the best we can with the cards we’re dealt, and I have had a brilliant go at it. I will continue to do so. Life is such a precious, fleeting thing, and I’m going to wring everything I can out of whatever is left of it, whether that’s three or thirty years

Two weeks ago, a younger friend of mine passed peacefully in his sleep. Honestly, that’s a gift. I’ve had a lot of friends die, and this one was the first that hasn’t been something tragic and avoidable. He will be remembered well, and at no point will anyone be torturing themselves wondering whether they could have done something. It was simply his time, and he went peacefully and well loved.

What a fucking gift. I love that for him, and for his family. He’s leaving a whole where he was, just like we all do when we move on, but it’s a life that will be looked back on with joy.

Except there is one little thing that needs to be sorted by his lovely family, and that hit home harder than anything.

He was a collector. A MIGHTY collector. He had a good job, he was single, didn’t have kids, owned his own home, and had no conflicts when it came to dropping a thousand dollars on a limited edition Transformer.

His family buried him yesterday. Today, they’re tackling the house, and his collections. Frankly, they’re buried. His sister send a message- “his desk is just covered in boxed Optimus Prime figures”.

How do you help someone navigate that? That’s just the freaking desk.

I’m looking at my own collection. I’ve already down-graded greatly, but there’s still probably a thousand unpainted minis in that collection, and if I hadn’t had to stop working because of The Diva, there would be more.

As much as I adore this hobby, the thought of my wife texting a friend about how many zombies are sitting on a shelf above my desk right now is heart breaking. No one should have to go through that.

I know from other friends that have passed that collections are largely worthless once the person that collected them is gone. My grandfather’s prized stamp collection was un-wanted by everyone in the family, and we settled on a few hundred bucks just to get the metric ton of stamps out of the way.

Another friend of mine passed a decade or so ago, and his nieces and nephews inherited some cool toys and some graphic novels. Everything else was either donated to schools, and when the patience was worn thin, straight to the landfill.

I don’t want to put my family through that, no matter what time I have left. As weird as this sounds to type, it sounds even weirder to say it aloud- I can’t in good conscience put anyone I love through that. For the first time in 40 some odd years of miniature collecting, I think it’s time to make a clean break.

That doesn’t mean that I’m getting out of the hobby, it just means that I need it to mean something more than it has. I’ve been going through a small mountain of painted (and a larger mountain of unpainted) miniatures, and most of it simply needs to go. I’ve had some success posting some on EBay, which helps the medical bills, and some are just finding new homes with friends.

What stays behind will be more personal to me. Necromunda and Mordheim were always my favorite games, so that’s what stays. Anything that can be adapted to those games, or homebrews of those games, may have a chance at staying.

Everything else? That’s a distraction, a dalliance from a fevered hobby addled brain, a nice distraction from the monsters that are making sure our children inherit a Mad Max movie. It’s all in some stage of going or another.

This is hard! I’m navigating a lot of emotion over some of this stuff, and realizing a lot of that is addiction. That’s fine, I can work through that. Still, it’s way harder than I ever anticipated.

To rip the band-aid off, I started with stuff that I have always found some comfort in, mainly the X-Men and Avengers figs from Marvel Crisis Protocol. Finding new homes for this stuff doesn’t diminish the joy I found in painting them, and maybe their new owners will pick up on some of that joy when they get them.

I’ll be shifting the emphasis of my posts towards this process a little more, and posting the results of what actually stays as well. I have some ideas for kitbash projects that will be a lot of fun, so stick around! It’s going to be a hobby rollercoaster around here!

Take care, friends.

Leigh

Star Wars Legion

Star Wars Legion: Moff Gideon

Star Wars and I are old friends. I was seven years old when the first movie came out, and I really, really wanted to see The Rescuers. My dad really, really wanted to see Star Wars. Since it was his birthday, we saw Star Wars, and I was in a funk until that opening scene on the Tantiv IV hit my impressionable little brain, and my poor dad has probably wished we went to se The Rescuers ever since.

In all of the Star Wars media I’ve consumed, I’ve really only hated one installment, which I will leave out because if it’s your favorite I have no intention of harshing that enjoyment for you. But everything else I’ve watched had something in it that I genuinely enjoyed, whether it’s Baylon Skoll in Ahsoka or Boba Fett riding a Rancor in Book of Boba Fett.

My rule for Star Wars is a simple one: What would that kid in 1977 think of this? Generally, that kid would have been shrieking like a radioactive gibbon rampaging through a jungle gym.

The Mandalorian brough out one of my favorite villains in all of Star Wars, with Giancarlo Esposito bringing a fantastic level of mustache twirling to his portrayal of Moff Gideon. When he showed up with a squad of Death Troopers and his modified TIE fighter, that internal seven year old was speechless. TIE fighters can do that with their wings??? HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT?

Moff Gideon also shit his pants when Luke showed up to take Grogu on a playdate to the Lil’ Jedi Temple of Doom. I would have done the same. What a cool, calculating, and cowardly when needed villain! Of course a Jedi would freak that dude out!

The old miniature that Atomic Mass Games produced for Star Wars: Legion was one of the first hard plastic kits they put out, and the likeness on the 35mm model is actually better than the Shatterpoint version. Plus, you get the option of pistol OR Darksaber, and since I like to have some general utility in my models, he’s packing his pistol.

I really took my time with him. Darker flesh tones have been a struggle for me, since in reality we’re not just talking about brown tones. There’s some cool purples and warm ochres in the skin, and I really wanted to do this sculpt justice.

He also has very pronounced eyelids, which this sculpt does a good job capturing. I wanted to make sure to show Gideon with that “bored but still going to kill you” look that made him so cool in the first place.

And, of course, I had to take some pics with him leading a couple of riot control troopers, I can’t wait to get some Deathtroopers together for him!

Warhammer 40,000

Warhammer 40k: Returning to Fenris

I heard something the other day that stuck with me, especially when thinking about the state of modern table top miniature gaming.

People don’t know what they like, but they like what they know.

That pretty much sums up my feelings about Warhammer 40k. It’s not an elegant rules system, the release schedule is predatory, but the miniatures look great and everyone knows about it, hell, most of my friends grew up with it. Getting them to come up from the Warhammer 40k mines is like pulling teeth.

*My Space Wolves commander as he was originally painted*

So, in the interest of continuing my gaming hobby with some really nice people that I enjoy hanging out with, I begudgingly started up a Space Wolves army, and had a good time painting the first 1,000 points. But I was kicking and screaming the whole time, I promise!

Last week, though, I saw someone’s army that had been painted up like medieval knights, and I fell in love. I decided to go back and start making these Wolves work for me. If I’m going to play 40k, I might as well enjoy what I’m painting, right? So, I went in and darkened up the armor, making the grey/blue more of an accent. And I’m very happy with the results!

I also decided to re-paint the gold as silver, which really adds a lot of contrast to the armor and allows any warm colors, which I’m keeping for leathers, furs, and skin tones, to really shine. Now, to finish up the other 20-some odd space vikings!

Marvel Crisis Protocol

Marvel Crisis Protocol: Frankenstein

Way back in the 1970’s, there was something of a horror renaissance going on in the comic book world. First, you had legends like Bernie Wrightson creating things like Swamp Thing for DC, and second, you had a veritable gold mine of public domain critters ripe for plunder, like Dracula and Frankenstein.

This stuff was also heavily influenced by the early heavy metal and rock scenes that were taking hold in popular culture, so you get guys like Frankenstein rocking the blue jeans and furry vests!

I was a little too young to read a lot of this stuff, and preferred my comics soundly focused on peeps in tights punching each other and worrying about their aged relatives. But, as I got older, I fell in love with all of it, from the EC black and white anthologies to the pure schlock of Marvel’s monsters.

I really love the look of this Frankenstein from Marvel Crisis Protocol, and he’s a solid kick-off to my Midnight Sons faction!

I also got to spend some time reading up on improving my photography skills while in the hospital, so I’m excited to share some improved pics! I was never happy with how my pictures turned out, so seeing them nice and vibrant like this is making me happy for sure!

Progress Log: Total MCP Minis in Collection: 107 Total Painted: 44